moving memories .. (shit i use to have)

wow .. moving has so many emotions attached to it !

we are a week or 2  in our new digs.  i have jokingly said for the last 5 or 6 years that i want a 'do-over' in a less restrictive enviroment.

i got it .

my room is actually a small office that has only room for a twin bed, computer , chair and one bookshelf.   who would ever have 'thunk this tiny room would be so awesome !! i gave up the bedroom with a bath so my grandies could both have a big bedroom, as they need their space and for the first time since they were concieved... they arent sharing a bed!  so they too are in a least restrictive enviroment.

i am a pakrat .. or minor hoarder.. i guess depending on who you ask! my daughter would go with hoarder.. but im not sure thats accurate.  my recent trip to arizona changed something inside me that i have no words for.  its another story that im still trying to read ..  but part of what it gave me was vision from a different perspective.  all the things i was holding onto ... i somehow had a sense of betrayal for letting go...  but have now and im ok.

i allowed myself a couple of tupperware containers full of 'the ones i surely could never part with' ...  ( mostly rocks ) and had to let everything else go.  so i took pictures of everything as i said goodbye to them.  i was pretty scared that i wouldnt be able to do it, but knowing there is NO room for them at the new place... made it a necessary.   i made a file on my computer: shit i use to have ,  and stored the pictures there.

the odd thing about this file of pictures is that i quickly realized, thats all i needed.  i dont need the actual object.. its the recalling of the memory that they gave me that i had confused with letting them go vs. losing the feeling attached to the time i was having while getting the rock, trinket .. etc.

memories are what i was afraid of losing. once i got down to ; where am i going to put 2 containers of my 'have to keep' objects .... i realized the hundreds of other things i had left behind were still in my file: shit i use to have , and i am free to look at them anytime which makes them more accessable than they use to be. ( stuffed in bookshelves, bags, under bed, bottom of the cabinets.. etc !

 so now i have hundreds of pictures on ONE file, taking no physical space ... and it has sparked me to write about the objects now... and OOOOH my are the stories flowing thru my thoughts...

if you are having a space issue? try the picture file method ! ( and you are welcome to use the file name of mine if you wish ) !!

peace amungus !
s.